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Matt Alexander

With a degree in politics and economics along with quite a few years at the grass roots of the political arena, Matt is well qualified to comment on the political situation in the UK. With a rather satirical view of life in Westminster he manages to put into words what many of us really think of our leaders and the system. He is also an ardent follower of the ‘gentlemans game played by ruffians’  so there is likely to be many a reference to football. Can it be that he actually supports Bristol Rovers!

Articles by Matt Alexander

The Invasion of the Baby Toy Snatchers

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So, the World Cup has ended, flair play beat foul, 'your lot' won it and I'm sure the parties were something to savour. Back in the Motherland, our Glorious Summer has also ended and damp normality had returned. Back to the daily ritual of watching the skies for some sign from the Gods as to whether you should take your anorak to work, or if your birthday barbecue will be annihilated by a candle-snuffing from the clouds. Now man-made climate change (yes, its happening, do catch up!) means more snap tropical downpours, there's even more to worry about.

 

In the kind of irony the British pessimistically relish, Liverpool's hosepipe ban was spectacularly suspended in mid July when half an inch of rain fell in an hour and flooded the streets. It's been reported that record numbers of Brits holidayed at home this year, crouching in awnings trying to spark a primus stove with a wet lighter, or staring out of steamed-up B&B windows wishing they'd never had kids. I don't think they'll make the same mistake again next summer, so prepare yourselves for an even bigger invasion of Almeria than usual.

 

Misery. We Brits wear it so well don't we?  Of course, not too much, we have limits, one spoonful of suffering for me please, everything in moderation 2010 is going to change all that, we are told, as this is The Year of the Cut.

 

Details are finally starting to emerge of what is to go in the big shakeup we are now to face. The problem is that the government seems very reluctant to firm up any proposals, as it is still riding a semi-swell of public support in its honeymoon period of “not being New Labour”. As soon as the Pact of Steeles risk releasing a specific cut they are forced to quickly muck and muddle it in the face of an instant public backlash.

 

The first to blunder his way into the spotlight was Michael Gove, the new Education Secretary, who announced the axe was to fall on £55 billion of school building improvements agreed by New Labour. There was instant uproar in every community that suffered, whilst 25 other projects not on the list breathed a huge sigh of relief and carried on planning for the diggers to arrive in September. Then they found that an admin error had meant Gove had missed them off the list, and they too were having their cash plugs pulled. Gove apologised to the House, and then gallantly promised to apologise to each school individually – over the telephone of course, he'd be kidnapped and ransomed if he visited personally.

 

Since then Pax Steelicus have abandoned all talk of 'laying cards on the table' and gone back to the sound political tactic of obfuscation and deft deflection, which feels a lot more natural. Now Deputy Leader Nick Clegg 'raises the issue' of not giving bus passes out until people are 65, in an effort to 'start a discussion'. The idea of graduates paying a special tax for 20 years after they finish studying  is 'floated' by Vince Cable, in order to 'investigate options'.

 

Every library and council building now has a 'consultation box' where the public can add their ideas of where the axe should fall. Like a modern gladiatorial contest, they can now give the thumbs down to the Young Offenders institute down the road, or rip out the guts of the arts festival that refused to exhibit their collection of home made Chris Ofili homages.

 

This is The Modern Age, The E-Democracy, the public must decide. Gone are the days of the benevolent Home Office bureaucrats who managed Britain's decline in the second half of the 20th Century. Gone are the days of Roy Jenkins legalising divorce and homosexuality despite public disgust, based on his own idea of what the country needed. Gone are the days of Thatcher's “there is no alternative” handbag swinging, now there is always an alternative for the public to choose (even if it looks identical to the other choice but worded a different way).

 

Before they entered their Holy War phase, Blair's New Labour were much the same – proposals were filtered through focus groups and then trialled (usually on the Welsh or Scots) before being rolled out in a phased implementation. The public decided whether they gave a damn either way or not – if they did the project was temporarily withdrawn, lurking in the shadows like a seething badger before bolting out and onto the statute books under the cover of a royal death or a Big Brother finale.

 

This worked well for the government on boring issues like ending the right to protest, sneaking in a stealth tax, or deregulating the capital markets so they could destabilise the whole capitalist system. All these simply required the public to look the other way and not be bothered, which we were more than happy to do.

 

Cuts are a different matter. You can decide not to give a baby a new toy, or give it to someone else, and it won't mind as it will never miss it. Try and take away a toy that it already has, and you'll have a tantrum on your hands. In September, Pax Steelicus will no longer be able to delay, obfuscate, consult and deflect – the Gods of the Market will demand their sacrifice, and they will be forced to start snatching toys. Be prepared for a lot of howling.

 

Out of interest, here is a report from Paul Mason of BBC Newsnight on the 'busted cajas' of Spain, if you weren't already aware. Happy Crisis!

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/newsnight/paulmason/2010/07/spains_pain_goes_ beyond_the_bu.html

 

Cajasur - one of the famous five failures of the EU stress test.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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