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The Salem Witch

Having moved to the USA several years ago with her husband, a fluent Spanish speaker,  this ‘ex-pat’ has developed some interesting views on things American, British, Hispanic and about the world in general. Sometimes caustic, sometimes funny but always honest. She writes to us here in Spain about the American point of view and how things are perceived across the pond.

From the Rocky Shores of New England, the Salem Witch Reports:

Articles by The Salem Witch

The God Thing

We have just heard on the news of an event in Ohio which has caused much distress to many of the locals.  There has been  wailing and misery.  A lightning flash has destroyed their beloved 6-storey high statue of Jesus, with his arms raised to Heaven.  Jesus was a local Big Feature, and gave them much comfort by his presence.  But, from the heavens came the lightning, and Himself went down in flames, rather quickly.  Many locals are devastated and distraught, and this opens up the picture of America and its obsession with religion.  On the two coastlines, it is not evident, but move a little inland or South and it all becomes creepily apparent.  

Not far from Jesus in Ohio, down in Kentucky, there is the Museum of Creationism.  It was created not long ago to cater to the people who know that God created the world in six days, six thousand years ago, and that everything was there and no additions or changes to be made.  And do they flock in!!  Every day the camper vans roll in and the eager families, mostly corpulent and dressed in gigantic shorts, embrace it all.  It is a well built and attractive place, and one of its features is a Garden of Eden panorama, with statues of Adam and Eve petting tame dinosaurs.  The couple look a bit blank, but otherwise exactly like the cast of Hair.  (If you remember that).  The kiddies absorb all of this, and Mom and Pop feel very satisfied that their certain knowledge is being validated.  Many High Schools have to teach Creationism and the seriously sad part of this is that many Biology teachers agree, and accept the theory as valid.  

Do you believe in Angels, the be-winged blondes with the white robes?  Well, 65% of American adults do, and furthermore many of them think they have a special Guardian Angel all for themselves.  The G.A. will personally hover over you all the time, and prevent mishaps and misfortune.  I often wonder why the heartland Yanks are so whacky.  Is it their distance from the real world, and the vast spaces around them?  I expect we need to remember also that so many of the original settlers were religious nuts themselves, driven away to take up their own brand of holiness in the outback.  

While recently driving through the South, we became aware that every mile or so there is a church, usually with a gigantic cross out the front, and a big sign with "The Curch of the Holy Brotherhood" or similar.  Lots of Baptists too.  I feel very sorry for the kids, as they have no choice but to be part of it.  I find it creepy and backward, and I am a little frightened of the zeal and rigidity of these Christians, who seek to run everyone else's life with their own rules.  Let us not forget that they have murdered doctors for running abortion services.  However, spaced between all the churches there are big billboards advertising "Adult Book Store" and "Strippers 24/7 - Truckers Welcome".  A bit of confusion there.  

My husband grew up in Peru, in a British household, and learned about the Incas and their system of worship.  He thinks that Pachamama, the Inca goddess of the Earth is the way to go.  She looks after everything, but gets a little annoyed if the humans mess up her beautiful world.  She is along the lines of James Lovelock's Gaia theory, which also makes the only sense to me.  You dwellers in Spain have those Penitents to watch, with the freaky Inquisition costumes.  The big pointy head gear with the slits for the eyes.  It brings a shudder to recall the Inquisition and its dark tortures and cruelty.  I ask you, folks, isn't it lovely to be a member of the nationality which has been deemed the most secular on the planet?  There are fewer church attenders in Britain than any other country.  We might have our own personal God, and follow the best of the teachings of the major religions, but we are not shoving it in anyone's face, or getting all fired up to run everyone else's lives.  Three cheers for English indifference to organized religion!

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