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Bob Maddox

Bob is a retired teacher living in the Alpujarra for most of the year with his wife Belinda. His interests include painting, photography and of course writing. He researches his articles meticulously and always manages to include his own brand of humour. Whatever the subject they are ‘a good read’. He has been a keen supporter of the Moor Times and has contributed  many interesting pieces since its conception in September 2009.

 

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Agave a Day

 

Helps you work, rest and play claims prickly Bob Maddox

 

Legend has it that an ancient king of Mexico was once injured by the sharp spines of a plant.  Being a king, he was rather peeved at this and so ordered his minions to destroy the offending vegetable instantly.  As the unfortunate plant was being dismembered, the king noticed that it contained many strong fibres and this gave him a rather clever idea.  He ordered  these to be woven into a rope, which he then used to bind all other plants of a similar aggressive nature and so enslave them in the service of his people forever.

 

Well, it turned out that the ancient king chose rather well, for the plant which once stabbed the royal leg now finds uses in fields as diverse as medicine, cookery and the construction and brewing industries. You can cure with it, cook with it, build with it or get stoned on it. Those old rogues the Aztecs even killed for it.  Welcome to the wonderful world of the Agave; one of the most useful plants in the world and to its many fans, one of the most interesting and beautiful.

 

This is the plant which Spanish explorers carried back home after they had finished killing the Aztecs off.  Today, it is one of the great iconic plants of Andalucia.  Look out of your window and if you live in Moor Times territory, the chances are that you'll see one not too far away.  That big, spikey punk of a plant with its three metre flower stalk silhouetted against the sky, is Agave americana, the commonest of a family of over two hundred different agaves.  With its dense rosette of saw-edged, needle-tipped leaves, Agave americana is a battle tank of a plant - an agave patch is certainly no place to get caught short in on  your way home from the bar.   If Rambo had been a plant, he would have been an agave.

 

But let's look past the aggressive face which agave presents to the world and here, we will find a plant with a rich and fascinating story to tell - and one which is at its most spectacular between the months of May and July. For this is the time when something wonderful happens across the arid hillsides and barancos of Andalucia, as Agave americana reaches for the sky with one of the most spectacular flowering displays in the plant kingdom.

 

With a growth rate of up to 10 centimetres a day, a terminal height of 10 metres and the girth of a telegraph pole, an agave flower spike is a true spectacle of nature.  From this cathedral spire,  slender branches unfold to support  pads of greenish-yellow flowers -  aerial feeding stations for thousands of nectar hungry insects, moths, butterflies and even bats.  It is spectacular and beautiful and it is simply dying to be seen -quite literally.  As the big seeds begin to set, hormonal changes take place which will eventually kill the parent plant.  Despite its long life, no agave ever flowers twice.

 

Agaves are also superstars in the world of homoeopathic and herbal remedies.   Digestion out of whack?  Agave sap is said to cure diarrhoea or constipation.  Whether you are blown-out or blocked-up, agave has the answer.  Indigestion?  Dysentery?  No problem - same solution.   

Liver problems?  Agave sap again.  Angina?  Pneumonia?  Peel and slice an agave leaf, fry in olive oil until golden, then apply to the back and chest, thus sandwiching the afflicted organ between two pads of agave healing power - a practice incidentally, which is still used in areas of north-east Catalonia to this day.

 

V.D.?  Syphilis?  Sorry, of course not - not a Moor Times reader - but apparently agave is said to be effective here too, just in case you know someone who has a friend who......

 

Gentlemen – are you balding?  Soak agave fibres in water then apply to the scalp to prevent 'falling hair'.  But before your rush out with a machete to gather a crop, do remember that the Aztecs used the same stuff as a glue...

 

Ladies – are you tired of  lying under the same duvet as a gassy male?   Agave it seems, is most efficacious in cases of chronic flatulence and  'checks the growth of putrefactive bacteria in the stomach and intestines.'  Glad I found out before the divorce came through.  

 

And if you do happen to wander into an agave patch one dark night, those stab wounds and lacerations should respond well to agave sap, but if they do turn septic, try a poultice of boiled agave root.   

 

But beware, for this is a plant with a dual personality.  That good medico Dr Agave Jekyll, has a  dark alter-ego; the nasty Mr A. Hyde.   According to the august pages of the Journal of Herbal Pharmacother (what a title!), there is insufficient scientific evidence that agave is effective in any of the conditions mentioned above.  Quite the contrary in fact, since Agave americana is known to produce skin irritation and dermatitis, while other agave species contain chemicals known as saponins, that damage or destroy blood cells. Best stick to Savlon and penicillin then.

 

But no such problems abound for builders or DIY enthusiasts.  Need fence posts?  Agave flower stems will do nicely. Roof leaking?  Agave leaves make excellent roof tiles and if you run short of nails, try fixing them with agave spines, which are quite sharp and hard enough to be driven into wood. Need a rope?  Agave sisaliana will provide you with that - hence the name 'sisal'.  Need a needle?  Agave spines are sharp enough to sew leather.  And if, after all this agave-based activity you fancy a drink, simply slide into a hammock (woven from sisal of course), relax in the shade of an agave-leaf parasol and sink a nice glass of pulque. Ahh!  What's pulque? Well....

 

If you feel that the nutritious sap of the agave flower-spike (aptly called aguamiel or honey water) is far too good for insects, bats and the like, then you can always harvest it yourself.  Simply cut off the growing spike, hollow it out and wait for the aguamiel to collect.    Now  ferment it to produce the intoxicating beverage known as pulque - a tipple which clearly has something special going for it.  As traveller Don Lotter recorded in his Pan American Adventure...

 

"The first time I drank pulque, I knew there was something special about it, because it gave me power over alleyway dogs..."  

 

Wow!  A six-pack for me  please.  

 

If the hard stuff is more to your taste,  Agave tequilana gives us, well... Tequila; which is what we call the agave spirit Mezcal when it's produced near the Mexican town of, well...Tequila.  And while you are at it, you might like to drop an Aegiale hesperiaris into the bottle – that's the edible caterpillar which infests the heart of certain agaves and which is to be found lying in pickled splendour at the bottom of every bottle of second rate Mezcal.  Don't be taken in... the finest Tequilas should be worm free.

 

Certainly, the Aztecs liked their pulque.  It was inextricably woven into the fabric of Aztec culture and religion; and the Aztecs were very big on religion.  Oh, and on human sacrifice of course.  They were particularly partial to throwing big parties in honour of  their god of sun and war, the fabulously named Huitzilopochtli.  Strangely, the Aztecs represented this macho divinity as a fragile hummingbird.  Now, since the Aztecs consumed pulque in industrial quantities, and since pulque production involved removing the agave flower stem, then it followed that this deprived other creatures of agave nectar, including - yes, you guessed it – hummingbirds gods.  

 

To appease H, the Aztecs substituted another precious fluid for the nectar they had stolen  - human blood.  During these sacrificial parties everyone, including the victims, were encouraged to get thoroughly oiled on pulque.   Often, thousands of victims would be offered up to H by way of an apology for nicking his nectar -  their hearts ripped from their living bodies and  their flesh cooked and eaten.  Such was the scale of some of these events that even that hoary old Spanish conquistador Cortes was said to have been  horrified.

 

During one big H dedication ceremony in 1487, over 20,000 captives were sacrificed.  In terms of apology and absolution, it certainly put the Catholic Confessional in the shade.  Incidentally, the Aztecs also had an agave goddess called Mayahuel who had 400 nipples!  Yes! But that's another story.

 

If you are off cannibalism this year, you can always go vegetarian with an agave.  Irrefutable evidence that humanity has chewed on agaves for at least 9000 years is provided by the famous anthropologist  A.Callen, who spent years examining coprolites in minute detail and found traces of agave in them.  Coprolites, as I'm sure you know, are mummified human turds - which to my mind provides  irrefutable evidence that the famous anthropologist  A.Callen should have got out more and maybe drunk less pulque.

 

In 1577, Spanish explorer Francisco Hernandez recorded native Mexicans as using agaves for honey, vinegar, wine and sugar.  They also baked leaves, roasted flower stems and scrambled flowers with eggs.  Today, Anne Astle's enchantingly titled cookbook "The Everyday Agave" lists lots of tempting recipes - and I do confess to having tried a little sautéed agave stem myself.

 

How was it? Well, in the immortal words of Crocodile Dundee...”Sure you can eat it, but it tastes like $hit.”  But then maybe I just chose the wrong cut.

 

Well, what a plant!  Whether you eat it, drink it, build with it or get smashed and sacrifice  your neighbours – there's no denying its special place in the scheme of things.  It can cure most ailments and cause plenty more.  It may even stop your man farting.  Not even penicillin can claim that.

 

But surely, the true beauty of the agave lies in what it gives to the landscape of Andalucia.  So, get out that hammock, open that can of pulque, relax and view a sunset through the cathedral spires of an agave.   Huitzilopochtli!  It almost makes me wish I was born a hummingbird.

 

© 2010 Bob Maddox

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